Strength and courage

I don’t really know why I am writing this but here it is..

Off late, a lot of people are telling me on how the world and it’s people make individuals question their choices, opinions, looks and basically existence in every possible way.

Things like, oh, you still don’t have a job? What are you going to do? Or are you sure about leaving him? What will you do without him? Your life is anyway very hard or Are you sure you want to be with her? I think you can do better or Have you really decided not to have children? You will regret this later in life or Are you sure you want to wear this to the party? I think you should change .. and it further goes into an endless loop of what the world thinks.

Not that I haven’t been on the receiving end of such statements myself but over the years, I have learned that life, is meant to be lived not to be compared or to be awarded but to be lived. Things flow just as emotions and over a period of time, pain, focus and priorities change axis. This happens to everyone.

The trick to survive through any transitional phase without being questioned by the society is one of the worst things to expect.. Hence, huge blinkers will surely help to pass through the transitions without much emotions. At the end of the phase, once settlement starts kicking in, people mostly retire or give up pointing their fingers at you or stop poking you because you would have passed their judgement barriers.

With open questions like ‘have you really thought this through’ or like ‘do you know how hard it is going to get’ .. the best answer often is to be honest and admit that you don’t know but that you shall see whatever comes your way just as them. By involving them in that uncertainty, maybe you can get hold of some tricks or earn some self peace.

But the problem is when you start asking their questions to your own self .. That’s when you let everyone win the battle against you and are ultimately left on your own in the battleground. This part, right before you adopt their questions, pause and breathe deeply .. If you still want to ask their questions to your own self, your answer should be .. I am strong enough to fight my battles; my strength and my courage are the my two most important keys.

I live in a world.

I live in a world where robbing individuals of their innocence and space is not a crime.

I live in a world where an entire country gets wiped off the map because of war and it is fine.

I live in a world where liars get applauded on stage; trials get ruled by money not by content.

I live in a world where your house, car and travels provide you a social status; not your individuality or rigour.

I live in a world where non scholar videos and articles feed your brain not books or research.

I live in a world where honesty, trust and love are fashionable in text not for real.

I live in a world where no one has patience to chase truth through the path less travelled and known.

I live in a world where propagandas are massive and issues are huge.

I live in a world where I, like millions, no longer know what living means anymore.

All the things ..

All the things that trouble me are my thoughts. Not only my thoughts but every other thought that’s thrown at me with a lot of conviction is also troubling. At times, I wonder, just these two words ‘I think’ create so much of stir inside that it gets to a point of no return. Whether this ‘I’ is you saying it to me or me saying it to me is irrelevant. Just the fact that this ‘I’ is succeeded by ‘think’ is good enough to trigger every possible emotion and raise the levels of anxiety in me.

I have always known and heard way too many times how I am not the body, how I am not the thoughts, how I am beyond all this but then the minute I step into life, thoughts become a part of my breath, things become a part of my being and somewhere all that I get reduced to is a thrash can trying to hold everything within.

I wish replacing thoughts with love was easy. I wish replacing thoughts with trust was easy. I know I am not there yet but I do know that it is where I want to be. Thoughtless for sure but in love and trust forever.

To the world that’s moving so fast..

.. I have something to say that might be a bit harsh

I want to say that ‘power’ is a made up word; blinds the eyes of a blood seeking sword

I want to tell you that humans were and are bundles of will

To say I am right and he is wrong is then just a cheap, transient thrill

I can thrive at your loss and survive at the fittest game

While loosing the essence of the self it can and never will be the same

We started off stark naked, we would leave the same way

To then build empires with portraits, let me ask, is it worth the materialistic gain?

If I were to build and if I were to rescue

Couldn’t I have done a better job by just letting you be you?

I trust the heart that beats and pumps the blood

Mine is red, I know yours is too

If I am, then are you, and many a times, I am because of you

My redness hasn’t decreased in time, I am sure yours too has followed the same gene pool and blood line

So why do I have to prove or disprove my being to you? I exist and so do you.

Since when has power backed by money come to decide that I lead and you follow?

I don’t deny that I did collect a bit more than I could swallow

The rest I spent on building bridges, buying materials and making weapons,

For, I wanted to protect my self from my own breed of men

Why do I need protection? Did I ever ask?

If I were to let you love me and love you back, would we still break our faith and trust?

While I did this, you did that,

Who am I to judge your perceived notion of fact?

What I was born with, you too were,

All we ever had was an entire universe

The sun’s never changed it’s course for you or me,

It’s always been further out and never in our vicinity

We drew it close because we had the same needs

The desires overtook and it became a fallacy!

When do I or you then blame the sun for our miseries?

I have my share of the daily bread, work on keeping me alive

Why would I judge you for you too can have an identical stride

I can and so can you,

So then, where is the manmade power holding us through?

I don’t want to lead you and neither do I want to follow

I want to be me and I want you to be you.