All the things that trouble me are my thoughts. Not only my thoughts but every other thought that’s thrown at me with a lot of conviction is also troubling. At times, I wonder, just these two words ‘I think’ create so much of stir inside that it gets to a point of no return. Whether this ‘I’ is you saying it to me or me saying it to me is irrelevant. Just the fact that this ‘I’ is succeeded by ‘think’ is good enough to trigger every possible emotion and raise the levels of anxiety in me.
I have always known and heard way too many times how I am not the body, how I am not the thoughts, how I am beyond all this but then the minute I step into life, thoughts become a part of my breath, things become a part of my being and somewhere all that I get reduced to is a thrash can trying to hold everything within.
I wish replacing thoughts with love was easy. I wish replacing thoughts with trust was easy. I know I am not there yet but I do know that it is where I want to be. Thoughtless for sure but in love and trust forever.
A lot many times I have held a gift in my hands; touched it, felt it and possibly drowned myself in the memories that surround it. The person behind the gift took the chair of prominence in my minds eye and I have let my thoughts deepen the relationship between.
I often find it misleading to think that materials are useless; it’s the thought that counts and matters. I feel it’s the journey into thoughts that is led by the materials that matters the most.
It is often heard that thoughts become things but it is rarely heard that things when gifted or bought or sold, connect and build stories. Sometimes powerful stories of love, of friendship and of trust. At times earning all your love and respect and at times channeling all the negative emotions and forcing them out of you.
Either way, the art of gifting or buying or selling, things; paves the way into connecting individuals onto a journey where they share each other’s stories, become part of it, learn and at times unlearn but grow through it all, for sure.
Her signatures didn’t match, neither did her cards work
Heels hurt her ankles; and the back zip made her uncomfortable
She stood patiently looking at her watch
She was hoping something, somehow would tick in the clock
The minutes turned to hours and hours into a day
Her routine of waiting never changed its way
Righteousness never flowed in through the passage of her door
She never knew what it would be if life had been tuned not abhorred
Perhaps destiny, is what she consoled her heart of!
Maybe the winds were listening to her in disgust and moved on
Patience gave into pretence; circles reduced to dots
Brokenness defined itself through her unnerving faith and trust.
When a child is born, the umbilical chord is cut by someone, he is cleaned up by someone, he is wrapped up by someone and he is fed by someone. He, is dependent on everyone around; he trusts everyone around; he is a part of them and they are a part of him. To him, they are all part of the same ‘life’. Trust, faith, love and being take care of comes as part and parcel of his very entity. Right after he is born, he places his trust in everyone without knowing his relationship to them, without knowing what work they do professionally, without knowing how much money they have or how much money he has. He is born a human and he comes with his basic rights of trusting humans for being human and for making him one of them in time, through what they all share, ‘life’ 🙂
Then why through the years, these very core rights of his on humans needs to be earned back?! Why does he doubt intentions of others?! Why does he think twice and even thrice or several times before loving another human?! Why his vision of ‘trust’ gets restricted?! Why?!
Life, never said to the soul that was born that ‘go and earn money, earn a name for yourself’.. Instead life said, ‘go and live me. Live me well.’ .. And ‘live well’ took into materials so deeply that the very core of his rights as a human, on other humans and on life itself, got blurred.
Why would trusting another human beyond relationships be so hard?! Why would loving another human beyond defined boundaries be hard?! These are what we were born with, these are what we are made of! So why would we bring and build other humans differently?!
I watched Saala Khadoos, the Hindi Bollywood version of Madhavan’s film. I am calling it a Madhavan film because of his on screen potrayal of the master! I am smitten and completely taken in by it as I too, believe, that this is how and what a teacher should be like. Someone who is able to spot talent and then give in everything to nurture it.
The film has an interesting concept of sibling rivalry between the older and younger sister where the older one does want to be a boxer eventually ending up being a police officer and the younger one is a naturally gifted boxer but sells fish in a local market to support the family. There comes a point in the narrative of the film where the heartbroken older sister ends up asking and questioning the teacher why he doesn’t teach her the way he teaches her younger sister and he replies very confidently that the younger sister is a natural and gifted boxer. I guess what is to learn out of it is that we can all train and learn the skills to do a particular job but at the end of it all, the one who is natural and gifted will excel without a shadow of doubt. There are no two ways about it; be it sports or be it in general, in life!
The film moves into the journey and deals with the love, hate and trust trajectories of emotions between a student and her teacher. They fight each other, they fight against their opponents and they fight against the corrupt system. They give a new meaning to the word team and take trust to a whole new level when in the final round, the protagonist in the boxing ring, lowers her guard down, shocking everyone but believing in her master, and they both emerge as winners!
The film beautifully settles in the relationship of a student with her teacher who she believes in completely, more than herself and he believes in her completely more than himself. They protect each other’s trust and they protect each other’s identity against the worldly demands.
I guess if that’s how every teacher and student could be, the world will be a better place to learn and to grow.
(Image has been taken from google images)