I don’t really know why I am writing this but here it is..
Off late, a lot of people are telling me on how the world and it’s people make individuals question their choices, opinions, looks and basically existence in every possible way.
Things like, oh, you still don’t have a job? What are you going to do? Or are you sure about leaving him? What will you do without him? Your life is anyway very hard or Are you sure you want to be with her? I think you can do better or Have you really decided not to have children? You will regret this later in life or Are you sure you want to wear this to the party? I think you should change .. and it further goes into an endless loop of what the world thinks.
Not that I haven’t been on the receiving end of such statements myself but over the years, I have learned that life, is meant to be lived not to be compared or to be awarded but to be lived. Things flow just as emotions and over a period of time, pain, focus and priorities change axis. This happens to everyone.
The trick to survive through any transitional phase without being questioned by the society is one of the worst things to expect.. Hence, huge blinkers will surely help to pass through the transitions without much emotions. At the end of the phase, once settlement starts kicking in, people mostly retire or give up pointing their fingers at you or stop poking you because you would have passed their judgement barriers.
With open questions like ‘have you really thought this through’ or like ‘do you know how hard it is going to get’ .. the best answer often is to be honest and admit that you don’t know but that you shall see whatever comes your way just as them. By involving them in that uncertainty, maybe you can get hold of some tricks or earn some self peace.
But the problem is when you start asking their questions to your own self .. That’s when you let everyone win the battle against you and are ultimately left on your own in the battleground. This part, right before you adopt their questions, pause and breathe deeply .. If you still want to ask their questions to your own self, your answer should be .. I am strong enough to fight my battles; my strength and my courage are the my two most important keys.
I have always wondered why everyone jumps in with an opinion on everything on everyone all the time? The standard rule has become to advice. To give advice all the time. At times adding that personal line – ‘I know. Been there, done that.’ Or ‘I exactly know how you must be feeling’. My question is how can I exactly know how anyone feels because they are not me and I am not them as well?
There are always several layers of permutations and combinations that get thrown in for every individual at even exactly same conditions. These differences do nurture dependencies between individuals but to expect them to be exactly identical, so that one can step in to feel for the other, is absolute foolish to say the least.
Hence, the biggest drawback in the sentence – ‘please follow my advice’ are the missing words; ‘choose’ and ‘feel’. ‘If you feel like or choose to, then please follow my advice’ seems like a more contained statement to throw at someone.
I think the lesser importance one attaches to ones own opinions, the lesser urge one has to throw it at someone else because an opinion always queues up first in the line of choice. Perhaps then this unnecessary rise in hatred would reduce because most of the time feelings are able to set themselves right on their own rather than having to force them.
The question is do you really inspire someone or do you just motivate someone? Someone else’s story and journey can always act as a motivation, can also act as a learning that you can use but it can’t be your inspiration. Learning is not inspiring. Learning is acquiring knowledge. The dissemination of knowledge beyond solving problems and being able to carry routines, is probably what inspiration is. A closer look would reveal that you are your own inspiration. The inspiration is you. The sustainability model that you function with does need motivation from time to time but truly that can’t inspire you. The reason is simple. You are your story and you live your story each second, each minute and through each day. No one else does that. If your feelings are inside you, which do need words and gestures for someone else to understand, then how can someone else’s words or gestures inspire the so very you? They can and they do act as motivational catalysts from time to time while you are working on routines, but beyond that it is all inside you. The deeper and transparent you are to you, the lesser the need to look for inspirations outside of you, especially look for inspirations in other bodies and other stories which may or may not be similar to you.
The curiosity list for 2017 would perhaps have the following ..
1. Has Narendra Modi lost it?! Will he be able to hold the nation together or will he make a mess of it?! What will he do?! Where’s India going to be?!
2. What’s Trump going to do?! Is US going to be a Twitter led country?! Or will the Russians take over US?! Will US suddenly have more jobs?! What’s going to happen with the economy?!
3. What’s Brexit going to be like?! Jamie Oliver is already closing some of his restaurants in the face of Brexit .. Will we have no jobs in the UK at all?! What will happen to the immigration?!
4. Will we come to an end of gender violence?! Or will we write and share more posts around ‘women empowerment’?! Will we really achieve the ‘equality’ that we have been talking about for years?!
5. Racism. Will we see a sharp rise in racism across the globe?! Will we be judged more on our colour than our abilities?!
6. Rape. Will we see a sharp rise in the rape statistics across the globe?! Will more and more women in DRC and other parts of the world be made victims of wars?!
7. Will more countries turn out to be like Syria and will we all be a witness to an end of another country and a rise in the refugees across the globe?!
8. Will we let go off our climate policies and be a witness to the dark age due to a steep rise in pollution worldwide?!
9. Will we really have homes in Mars and will some of us actually go and live on another planet other than the Earth?!
10. Will we really have robots as our domestic help and drive cars for us rather than humans?! Are we really going to replace humans?!
I guess the list could go on and on and on .. But it will perhaps never cover the basic question that we should be curious about at the very start ..
‘When will I/ we be human?!’
And with this note of mine, I wish you all, each and everyone of you a very beautiful 2017.
Coloured people, coloured judgements, coloured visions, coloured emotions; Colour based riots, colour based controls, colours even go far to define who’s hot and who’s cold.
Colours enthuse life, colours take life away, colours make lines darker to separate. Colours coordinate themselves and compete for space..
Colours have just forgotten that their vibrancy and breath lies in their own unique texture and in their own subtle colouring space!