A lot of issues float around because someone doesn’t understand you and it often leaves this feeling of strange pain and fear. Completely resulting out of sheer lack of not being understood. I guess the primary question that is to be asked is why would anyone invest in understanding you? The almost immediate answer is that in fact, no one should ever invest in understanding you except you, yourself. The main job and the only job in life bestowed upon each soul is to understand their own selves. The stronger the bond of the self, the radiant the self will be and thus the lesser the need to be understood by another body other than you. We are all taught to care, to share and to do good but I guess the primary receivers of this exact share, care and goodness are we first before anyone else. Imagine not being in love with your own self, what will you teach the world about love and more importantly, how will you show that love honestly to anyone? Hence, the basic act and practice starts with the first face that you see in the mirror when you stand in front of it each day. It’s you. And therefore, invest in you for that’s the best investment that you would ever do in a life.
There was a time when I thought and wished if all problems disappeared somehow without me having to deal with any of them. There was also a time when I felt that running away from everyone and everything that was unpleasant, challenged me and made me feel like an idiot was the way forward in life. In the process of running away and turning my back at everything that wasn’t in sync with me, I found myself in a big dark patch of life. In a patch where nothing could touch me but everything felt nice momentarily. Also, in that patch, I no longer knew who I was and where I wanted to go.
Like when things work in moments, the art of collecting those moments to make a life is when living and knowledge play a crucial role but if I have been keeping myself away from all criticisms and shielding myself from the negatives, then what knowledge would I have gathered? None, I believe. Hence, I never knew how to turn moments into life because by and large, while I ran very hard from everything that bothered me momentarily, I also found places to hide momentarily. Neither the run led me to a destination and nor did I know what the journey I was on.
Then one fine day, my tired senses retaliated. I had nothing left in me but the desires to just be. That’s when I took the biggest test of all. I had to face my fears and there was no way out. Every single thing that I felt was unpleasant, I had to reason it out as to why and amicably detach. In the process, I realised hardly anything was and is unpleasant. It’s just the state of mind that I was in at the time of dealing with that person or the thing. The more negative I was on the inside, the more bitter my circumstances were on the outside. The more expectations I had on the inside, the harder no-treats zone I bumped into on the outside. The more I thought I could sail through easily; the vastness of the water made it awkward with the massive winds.
I paused and wondered.
In the process to just be, one of the key component was to know that the option to run away doesn’t exist. The way forward is to face the fears, nurture the pain, embrace the learnings and move ahead in strength.
Running is always easy. Ignoring is even cooler. But if one has to embrace knowledge than both running and ignoring need to be embedded in the knowledge of ethos not just based on feelings related to the state of mind.
Why do we seek ‘reality’.. Who seeks reality?! Who is it that wants to know what is real and what is not?! 😊 The one that seeks is perhaps this mind in this body. The brain helps it. It has all functional parts and then the chemicals and we are all sorted with what is real, what is conscious, what is subconscious and what is not any of this. Thoughts help to ease the knowledge and they also help you raise the complexity surrounding this very knowledge. Feelings on the other hand set you free. The journey from thoughts to theories to feelings is convoluted and hence experiences occupy a large part of our dominant decision making areas. However, reality is as unreal and real in each and every dimension when you seek it from this body and in every state that the brain can possibly go in. The ‘awakening’ then just becomes stateless, mindless, body less. It is nothing. It is all about nothingness.
If I could tell you that one thing that I realised quite late in life,
It is to live in the heart than to live in the mind.
While the world might insist that mind is far stable;
I would still say that heart is the space that is love abled.
To walk through life, you wouldn’t need someone’s thoughts,
You would need a faith in you that you could walk.
As time passes, you will learn a lot,
You will grow, fight, fend and talk.
Through it all you would need to be loved,
To feel, always let faith and belief have you wrapped up.
You wouldn’t need someone’s knowledge to build your own,
Neither would you grow in someone’s shadow or live in someone’s drone.
Keep the mind far far away because most battles have happened due to mind’s disparity with it’s crave.
Stay in the heart, keep others in it too;
To build a better world, for all of us, this is the least that we can all do.
And being a girl, this should come easy,
Read it in books that our brain is blessed with wires running differently;
Thus be always guided by your own intuitive connectivity.
Count the blessings not in form of materials, money or power; and may you always strive to give more than you acquire.
Like attracts like, trust me, very few will admit that to you;
Hence, be the magnet of love and sew.
International Day of the Girl Child ❤️
October 11, 2017.
The boundaries of expectations were broken,It was no longer a need or a requirement.
I could either be or I could easily disappear,
Without a thought or theory into the thin air.
The love that I had once placed my hope bars on became inconsequential
The desires that fed me, were starving themselves
It was tough to lift, to gather and to start all over
Leaving it scattered and broken was easy amid the terror
No strings to pull back and no strings to pull forward
I became my own anchor and sailed right through
Got directed as the wind blew, the fellow sailing boats worked as guides in skew
I wanted to give up every single hour
My mind knew no one was waiting at the finish line
But my heart wanted me to sail through it to be
It said .. ‘it doesn’t matter who sees you at the end of it and who doesn’t
The claps never matter neither the cheer
Do it for me, for I want to feel free..
Adjust your sails even knowing that there is no one to see’..