Mother or no?

It’s natural. To have a child. To reproduce. Humans making humans. There isn’t anything abnormal in this. Institutions such as marriage, relationship status’s, emotions such as love and all others walk in, surround and play their respective roles in making another human but it’s all so very natural. It is even said that birthing, the process itself take you deeper into your essence than any that you have ever been exposed to.

What is this intense and obsessive need associated with making another human? Perhaps it’s a wrong question to ask. Maybe it’s not need, it’s a desire. The strength of this desire might vary from human to human, circumstances to circumstances, bedroom to bedroom but the honesty that governs this desire never dies.

The questioning of capabilities, the doubts on status’s and the breaking of rule books often leads one to ask one fundamental question – do you want to feel what it means to be a mother at all?

The set of responsibilities, the changing paradigms of self, the fine threads of bonds that you seldom took notice of, everything perhaps changes meanings and hands once you become a mother. Hence, even more crucial than the desire is to know what you feel from your core?

Time and again people have expressed sadness over not being able to be parents, expressed great determination and passion for choosing not to have a child; probably each one of them is right and holds a validity in their own space and time. The bigger question that goes unmasked is this, isn’t it the feeling that runs all these desires that we put on the front and choose not to answer?

When you do get fo the space of answering a question as blunt as this, why don’t you feel like having a child? Or why do you feel like having a child? The answers would themselves find their anchors in your life. Perhaps then you wouldn’t want to even talk about this because healing from the brokenness that’s within, is hard to hold and to pretend.

Defying the natural laws, compromises and adjustments, we all more or less know what they mean. What we need to go back to is to feel what it makes us feel. To be a mother doesn’t necessarily equate to being related to someone in blood; to be a mother perhaps means to be responsible to who you are in your feelings when the odds are low.

Girls .. 

If I could tell you that one thing that I realised quite late in life,

It is to live in the heart than to live in the mind.

While the world might insist that mind is far stable;

I would still say that heart is the space that is love abled.

To walk through life, you wouldn’t need someone’s thoughts,

You would need a faith in you that you could walk.

As time passes, you will learn a lot,

You will grow, fight, fend and talk.

Through it all you would need to be loved,

To feel, always let faith and belief have you wrapped up.

You wouldn’t need someone’s knowledge to build your own, 

Neither would you grow in someone’s shadow or live in someone’s drone.

Keep the mind far far away because most battles have happened due to mind’s disparity with it’s crave.

Stay in the heart, keep others in it too;

To build a better world, for all of us, this is the least that we can all do.

And being a girl, this should come easy,

Read it in books that our brain is blessed with wires running differently; 

Thus be always guided by your own intuitive connectivity. 

Count the blessings not in form of materials, money or power; and may you always strive to give more than you acquire.

Like attracts like, trust me, very few will admit that to you;

Hence, be the magnet of love and sew. 

International Day of the Girl Child ❤️ 

October 11, 2017.


When a child is born, the umbilical chord is cut by someone, he is cleaned up by someone, he is wrapped up by someone and he is fed by someone. He, is dependent on everyone around; he trusts everyone around; he is a part of them and they are a part of him. To him, they are all part of the same ‘life’. Trust, faith, love and being take care of comes as part and parcel of his very entity. Right after he is born, he places his trust in everyone without knowing his relationship to them, without knowing what work they do professionally, without knowing how much money they have or how much money he has. He is born a human and he comes with his basic rights of trusting humans for being human and for making him one of them in time, through what they all share, ‘life’ 🙂 

Then why through the years, these very core rights of his on humans needs to be earned back?! Why does he doubt intentions of others?! Why does he think twice and even thrice or several times before loving another human?! Why his vision of ‘trust’ gets restricted?! Why?! 

Life, never said to the soul that was born that ‘go and earn money, earn a name for yourself’.. Instead life said, ‘go and live me. Live me well.’ .. And ‘live well’ took into materials so deeply that the very core of his rights as a human, on other humans and on life itself, got blurred. 

Why would trusting another human beyond relationships be so hard?! Why would loving another human beyond defined boundaries be hard?! These are what we were born with, these are what we are made of! So why would we bring and build other humans differently?!