Justice.

Every once in a while I get bombarded with ‘justice’ hashtags and shares.. justice for either her or him .. justice for this or that ..

I am bored of this justice to be honest and I don’t even understand ..

Because

I can’t go and tell the parents of a 7 year old in this very world that selling her to the sex trade so that her family can survive is wrong or right.

I can’t go and tell a 10 year old who just got pregnant due to an assault that her life will be back to normal and fine.

I can’t go and tell a young boy as young as 6 that it is okay to sit in silence and watch his mother being raped by soldiers.

I can’t go and wipe off the tears of a young teen who feels he is worthless because he couldn’t save his family from being set to fire.

I can’t go and tell millions out there that their faith and beliefs have no power.

I can’t even promise any individual that if he seeks the path of honesty, he shall rise and shine.

And neither can I tell anyone that being brutal, putting your own needs before others at the cost of their emotions and lives will not help you survive and thrive.

I can’t wipe out lust, greed, prejudices and jealousy from each and every mind..

Perhaps this is why ‘justice’, in my time, trends as a hashtag.

I live in a world.

I live in a world where robbing individuals of their innocence and space is not a crime.

I live in a world where an entire country gets wiped off the map because of war and it is fine.

I live in a world where liars get applauded on stage; trials get ruled by money not by content.

I live in a world where your house, car and travels provide you a social status; not your individuality or rigour.

I live in a world where non scholar videos and articles feed your brain not books or research.

I live in a world where honesty, trust and love are fashionable in text not for real.

I live in a world where no one has patience to chase truth through the path less travelled and known.

I live in a world where propagandas are massive and issues are huge.

I live in a world where I, like millions, no longer know what living means anymore.

Investing in the ‘you’.

A lot of issues float around because someone doesn’t understand you and it often leaves this feeling of strange pain and fear. Completely resulting out of sheer lack of not being understood. I guess the primary question that is to be asked is why would anyone invest in understanding you? The almost immediate answer is that in fact, no one should ever invest in understanding you except you, yourself. The main job and the only job in life bestowed upon each soul is to understand their own selves. The stronger the bond of the self, the radiant the self will be and thus the lesser the need to be understood by another body other than you. We are all taught to care, to share and to do good but I guess the primary receivers of this exact share, care and goodness are we first before anyone else. Imagine not being in love with your own self, what will you teach the world about love and more importantly, how will you show that love honestly to anyone? Hence, the basic act and practice starts with the first face that you see in the mirror when you stand in front of it each day. It’s you. And therefore, invest in you for that’s the best investment that you would ever do in a life.

Facing the fear.

There was a time when I thought and wished if all problems disappeared somehow without me having to deal with any of them. There was also a time when I felt that running away from everyone and everything that was unpleasant, challenged me and made me feel like an idiot was the way forward in life. In the process of running away and turning my back at everything that wasn’t in sync with me, I found myself in a big dark patch of life. In a patch where nothing could touch me but everything felt nice momentarily. Also, in that patch, I no longer knew who I was and where I wanted to go.

Like when things work in moments, the art of collecting those moments to make a life is when living and knowledge play a crucial role but if I have been keeping myself away from all criticisms and shielding myself from the negatives, then what knowledge would I have gathered? None, I believe. Hence, I never knew how to turn moments into life because by and large, while I ran very hard from everything that bothered me momentarily, I also found places to hide momentarily. Neither the run led me to a destination and nor did I know what the journey I was on.

Then one fine day, my tired senses retaliated. I had nothing left in me but the desires to just be. That’s when I took the biggest test of all. I had to face my fears and there was no way out. Every single thing that I felt was unpleasant, I had to reason it out as to why and amicably detach. In the process, I realised hardly anything was and is unpleasant. It’s just the state of mind that I was in at the time of dealing with that person or the thing. The more negative I was on the inside, the more bitter my circumstances were on the outside. The more expectations I had on the inside, the harder no-treats zone I bumped into on the outside. The more I thought I could sail through easily; the vastness of the water made it awkward with the massive winds.

I paused and wondered.

In the process to just be, one of the key component was to know that the option to run away doesn’t exist. The way forward is to face the fears, nurture the pain, embrace the learnings and move ahead in strength.

Running is always easy. Ignoring is even cooler. But if one has to embrace knowledge than both running and ignoring need to be embedded in the knowledge of ethos not just based on feelings related to the state of mind.

What if ..

If you think of yourself as a railway station or an airport; then all the planes, trains become the thoughts that come and go. Some stay longer than others. Some break down on your platforms and some need that extra time to clear your tracks. But they all eventually go and pass. Just as time and thoughts in a human.

The toughest bit is to be that station or that airport day after day, night after night, year after year. Maintaining that infrastructure, letting people and circumstances work on you, expanding and shrinking, perhaps at the same time. Having engineers repair your base, having someone put more bricks on you or even having someone to colour your walls for you can be daunting and exhausting for long.

If the mindfulness remains that you are not to convert yourself into one of your own passengers or into one of your own carriers, then whoever jumps on whatever vessel, is exactly like watching the world go by in its thoughts and battles without you being a part of the circus.

Most of the times, the loss of this mindful living is lost and the tendency to jump on that train in a search towards that destination is way too tempting than just to watch it go by.. And what does it bring? The destination still remains a far fetched dream and the journey becomes complicated without a reason or a cause.

Hence, to watch the world go by and being that station or that airport or that platform to let things be in the lap of time is a way into peace.

The damn space.

This damn space that is provided by time

Is uniquely boring, subtly breakable as it concedes in life

Something remarkable makes this space

A terrible feeling of owning, disowning, price and theft

Watch the space – they say

Trust the wait and add a pray

Neither the space gets a makeover

Nor the endless smiling face

It just remains a broken machine far from even willing to race

The clock ticks

The days go

Months pass and years flow

The space never gets filled

Playing the wait game just gets skilled.

Best advice.

I have always wondered why everyone jumps in with an opinion on everything on everyone all the time? The standard rule has become to advice. To give advice all the time. At times adding that personal line – ‘I know. Been there, done that.’ Or ‘I exactly know how you must be feeling’. My question is how can I exactly know how anyone feels because they are not me and I am not them as well?

There are always several layers of permutations and combinations that get thrown in for every individual at even exactly same conditions. These differences do nurture dependencies between individuals but to expect them to be exactly identical, so that one can step in to feel for the other, is absolute foolish to say the least.

Hence, the biggest drawback in the sentence – ‘please follow my advice’ are the missing words; ‘choose’ and ‘feel’. ‘If you feel like or choose to, then please follow my advice’ seems like a more contained statement to throw at someone.

I think the lesser importance one attaches to ones own opinions, the lesser urge one has to throw it at someone else because an opinion always queues up first in the line of choice. Perhaps then this unnecessary rise in hatred would reduce because most of the time feelings are able to set themselves right on their own rather than having to force them.