This Hrithik-Kangana case is fairly interesting. If I bring them down to being two plain individuals and not the celebrities that they are; just as two random individuals, then this forms the basis of what I am going to write next.
Why does it have to be a damsel in distress and a monster man?! Why?! Why does it have to be a powerful man and a not so powerful woman?! Relationships between humans happen all the time. Some last long, some don’t. Some bring out the best in you; some bring out the worst in you. Like a heartbeat, relationships too are conditioned to both the genes and the environment.
There’s no big deal in having sex with whoever you fancy because sex itself is mechanical and is overrated in a relationship. Sex, on its own doesn’t make or break a relation; similarly, promises of marriage or promises of any kind don’t make or break a relation either.
Whether you allow yourself to be an object in any relationship, is a call that you take and a choice that you make depending on your own conditions and circumstances. Like for example (my favourite example), in Sonagachi, a sex worker doesn’t exercise her right in choosing her customer; its money driven. A sex worker’s entire focus, even while she is in the act, is on the money that she’s going to get and her plans for her future. Similarly when you allow yourself to be an user in any relationship, that’s also a call and choice that you make based on your conditions. Like no one can stop anyone in this very world to not have an affair or not to go to a sex worker. It’s like can you stop those men trading women in Sonagachi or can you stop them from abusing or using women?! No. It’s their call, their choice based and hugely driven on and by their conditions.
In a world where on one hand, I have known and seen young girls, as young as 5 years old being sold under a broad umbrella of glittery promises and stability; I find it hard to even read through a woman’s complaints and accusations around promises and uses; especially from a woman who is well established, is educated and is financially capable to earn her bread and butter. More than that, I am disgusted by the media for labelling her as a role model as someone who has spoken her mind and stood up against injustice.
Injustice?! Sleeping with someone by choice and not forcibly is no injustice. Partying with someone by choice and not forcibly is no injustice. Even if all those hanging, kissing and making out were under some kind of a ‘promise’ umbrella, that didn’t work out the way one expected it to be, none of it gives the right to call out words like ‘rape’ or ‘cheat’ or ‘injustice’.
All it does go to show and to learn is this that in this very world, what goes around comes around. The only person that you owe is you and no one else. So when you set out choosing from the vector of choices, you get some right and some are not so right. None of that gives you the right to turn around and be a role model for a man or a woman. None of that gives you the right to play the woman card or the man card either because truth is, you still sit on a broader couch with the right to choose whereas ‘abuse’ is a lot silent and is dealt with in isolation and silence, not through long media interviews or posts.
I keep reading so many opinions on empowerment all the time. I keep reading so many posts that question rituals and find religions baseless. I find it extremely sad and disgraceful that no one has the time and the energy to go and study the roots on which these rituals and beliefs were set up. Most people tend to question the derived versions of the truth and they are also the same ones who mock it, who disregard it too.
Imagine someone waking up in the year 2080 and finding walking on roads to be the most stupid act that humans can possibly do. But natural, by then flying would be so obvious that walking would appear stupid. Think about it, is walking really crazy?! It does serve a purpose to this body that we all live in though!
Hence, while most of us are happy thinking and praising our own egos on how much of a voice, opinion, troll and media coverage we have and get; truth is, it’s all based on derived knowledge. If one literally spends that much of his or her wake time in engaging with and in the real knowledge, one wouldn’t have time and also wouldn’t be interested in indulging or entertaining opinions or judgements of humans around.. Because the more you know, the deeper your desire for silence and stillness is.
And to end this super long post of mine, which I don’t even know why I wrote, but I’ll leave it here saying that it’s about time we move beyond the gender and societal definitions of ‘respect’, ‘status’ and ‘positions’ cards for each of us, with each of us. Turn around and count the number of things and people you love for who they are barring everything! Even if there’s one, you’re human indeed.